


your mind is playing tricks on you

by imadetheline



Series: Breathe In, Breathe Out [11]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, FebuWhump2021, Hallucinations, M/M, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imadetheline/pseuds/imadetheline
Summary: febuwhump day eleven - hallucinations
Relationships: Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Breathe In, Breathe Out [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2140389
Comments: 26
Kudos: 101
Collections: Luke and Vader Bonding, febuwhump 2021





	your mind is playing tricks on you

**Author's Note:**

> title from little talks by of monsters and men
> 
> yes the first part is a meme sue me.

“Anakin!” Padme’s voice filters through the walls of the Coruscanti apartment. She rounds the corner into the kitchen in full Senate regalia, and Anakin winces at the expression on her face. “Why are there small handprints all over the bedroom walls?”

Anakin glances down at Luke and Leia, seated at the table happily enjoying their sandwiches. He has a sneaking suspicion their painting time had gotten out of hand while he cooked their lunch, but he leans down to them anyway, whispering out the side of his mouth while still smiling, hopefully pacifyingly, at his wife, “Good question. Guys, why are there small handprints on the bedroom walls?” 

Padme raises her eyebrow, but before she can speak, Leia pipes up very matter-of-factly, “Because we have small hands.”

A smile threatens to spread across Anakin’s face at that, but at Padme’s disapproving glance, he stifles it… for all of a moment. And then he’s sweeping across the room and catching Padme around the waist, smiling anyway, and pressing a swift kiss to her lips, “I’ll take care of it, love. Don’t worry.”

She gives him a skeptical glance, but then he pecks her lips again and smirks, resting his arms around her waist to keep her close, “How were the bureaucrats today?” And she swats at his arm, smiling and glancing over her shoulder to their children, who are now arguing animatedly about something.

She sighs, looking back to him, “Fine, Ani. The children…” And she looks pointedly over his shoulder. 

Anakin doesn’t even turn, too absorbed in the warmth of Padme’s dark eyes, “It’s fine. I argue with Ahsoka all the time. A little sibling rivalry sometimes is healthy.”

She rolls her eyes, “Speaking of Ahsoka. She and Obi-wan are coming over in a few hours to watch the kids so you and I can go to dinner.” Anakin’s eyes light up, and he spins her around until she’s laughing, “Don’t tell me you forgot, Ani.”

He buries his face in her neck, inhaling her perfume. “Hey, taking care of two Force-sensitive kids isn’t the easiest job in the galaxy,” he mumbles into her skin. Her laugh reverberates through him. 

But then, “Eww, dad, why?”

Padme laughs again, and Anakin lifts his head, glancing to his children. Their faces are wrinkled in disgust, and he smirks at them, sticking out his tongue, and then pulls Padme in for another kiss to a chorus of “gross” and puking sounds and Padme’s wonderful laughter. And he thinks he’s never been happier.

A hand threads into his hair, and he meets his wife’s eyes, drowning in them. She gives him an exasperated but fond look, one that’s so familiar, and says, “The walls, Ani.” 

It takes him a second to remember what she’s talking about, and he can see her amusement growing. But then it clicks, and he remembers, groaning. She pecks him on the cheek and pulls herself from his arms, “I’m going to change. Get the kids to help you clean. It’ll be good for them.” And then she’s sweeping out of the room, dress trailing behind her.

Anakin watches her go for a moment, and then he rounds on Luke and Leia, raising his hands to his hips and putting on his best angry face. “You two got me in trouble with mom.” But apparently, his best angry face isn’t all that good because they’re both glancing at each other and giggling. He cracks a smile, “Now you’re both gonna help me clean up the handprints.”

The twins share a look, and then Leia slides off her chair, and Luke yells, “Only if you catch us!” And then they’re laughing and tearing out of the room on tiny legs.

Anakin grins and sets off after them, “I’m coming for you!” He hears them squeal and giggle, and he turns after Luke, who’s run into his bedroom and is trying to hide under his bed. Anakin laughs and bends down, peering under the bed, catching sight of Luke’s wide blue eyes. Before Luke can crawl further under the bed, Anakin snags his ankle, “I got you!” he chuckles, dragging Luke out.

“I’ll never go with you!” Luke laughs.

But Anakin’s heard that before, somewhere else.

And suddenly, everything flashes… to a cave. And Luke’s gone from his grasp. It’s dark, and pain is tearing at him, swirling in his chest, deep world-ending grief. There’s a blond boy, reaching for him, blood dripping down his temple, desperate pain written on his features.  _ Come back. _

But Anakin blinks, and Luke is laughing, now safely tucked in his father’s arms as they stand beside his bed, the Coruscanti sunset pouring in through the window. Luke tugs at his tunic, and Anakin looks down at him blankly. “Father?” he says softly, concerned.

Anakin blinks again and smiles down at his son, “Sorry, just a little tired. Let’s go find your sister.”

And Luke smiles again, “Okay, father!”

Anakin takes a step towards the door, ignoring how the happiness in his chest feels emptier than before. But he falters. Since when does Luke call him father? He almost asks, almost looks down at the boy in his arms, but he’s scared. He’s scared that he knows. So he ignores it.

The doorbell rings from the other room, and he smiles, tugging Luke closer to his chest, and strides quickly out of the room. He can sense Obi-wan and Ahsoka outside the door, and he breathes a sigh of relief at their arrival, pushing everything else away.

He doesn’t even wait, opening the door with the Force when he’s halfway across the room. Ahsoka pushes herself in first, bright eyes already scanning the room. And sure enough, Leia hurtles out of the hallway, a brown and white blur, and jumps towards her, knowing Ahsoka will catch her. And Ahsoka does, swinging her around as Obi-wan chuckles. “It’s my favorite princess!” Ahsoka laughs, setting her down again and ruffling her hair. Leia grins and bats her hands away from her braids.

Luke shouts from Anakin’s arms, pouting, “Hey! What about me, ‘Soka?”

Ahsoka flashes him a smirk, “Why, you’re my favorite prince, obviously.” And Luke smiles his thousand-watt smile.

Anakin scowls good-naturedly at his former padawan, “And what am I then?”

She smirks, “Not my favorite anything, that’s for sure.” Anakin sticks out his tongue, sending both his kids into fits of giggles, and Obi-wan rolls his eyes. Luke tugs on his sleeve once he’s recovered from laughing and gestures to the ground, so Anakin sets him down gently, and Luke immediately makes his way to Obi-wan, wrapping his arms around the Jedi master’s leg. Obi-wan ruffles his hair and smiles down at him.

Anakin sees the edges of the room blur slightly, but he blinks forcefully, and it’s gone. 

“Is that Ahsoka and Obi-wan?” Padme’s voice rings out from their bedroom.

“Hello, Padme,” Obi-wan calls back, walking in circles with Luke attached to his leg as the boy laughs. Anakin looks at them fondly.

“Hello, Obi-wan!” she calls back. “I’ll be out in a minute!”

Ahsoka’s already disappeared into Leia’s room, the girl dragging her by the hand. And Obi-wan just smiles down at Luke, still attached to his leg and giggling every time Obi-wan moves. Anakin watches his son laugh and ignores the flickering darkness on the periphery of his vision.

“It’s not real, you know.”

His gaze snaps to Obi-wan’s. His former master looks older somehow, more tired, sadder. Anakin glares at him. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Obi-wan sighs, “Yes, you do. I know you’ve noticed.” Luke isn’t attached to his leg anymore. Anakin doesn’t know where he is.

“No,” Anakin snaps. He can’t look at him anymore, rage and grief and betrayal bubbling in his chest. “My family needs me here.”

“Anakin.” The sadness in those words is tearing at Anakin’s skin. “This reality is gone. I wish just as much as you that-”

“No… you don’t.” Anakin’s voice is ice cold, more a hiss than a whisper.

“No, you’re right, not as much. But I do wish.” Obi-wan reaches for him, a lone figure in the darkness wrapping around them, the apartment gone. Anakin flinches away. “This reality may not exist, but your family still does. Your son has risked everything. He  _ needs _ you.” And then Obi-wan’s gone.

Again that red tint overtakes his vision, an image of a bloodied and bruised boy reaching for him, pleading.  _ Come back. Please, father. _

He wants to stay. He wants to hold his wife, to watch his children grow up with his master and padawan by his side. But… 

But that boy, that boy is his son. And he’s hurting. The Force is screaming with it. He can no longer ignore it. And Anakin’s never been a father, but maybe he can start now.

So he squeezes his eyes shut and whispers a silent goodbye to his wife. A cool breeze brushes past his cheek, and he thinks he smells her perfume. 

And then he rips the darkness apart, shredding it into shards of glass that fall around his feet. And the memories flood through the cracks. The pain he can once again feel in his limbs, in his lungs as he takes in regulated breaths, is nothing in comparison to the life-altering, bone-deep grief of everything he’s lost in his veins, like tiny needles when he moves.

But he hasn’t lost everything. There, in the dark of the catacombs, is the battered form of his son. He releases the grip he didn’t even know he had in the Force and the boy collapses to the stone lifelessly. Silence is ringing in Vader’s head as he throws himself towards his son, gathering him into arms that can no longer feel like they should. “Luke,” he pleads, cradling the boy’s bloodied face.

He doesn’t need the Force to tell him that the injuries are his fault, but it does anyway, images of him from Luke’s eyes flashing in his mind. A swirling storm of darkness as he stands motionless, Luke desperately trying to reach him. His own power reaching for whoever had tried to pull him from his insulated reality and throwing them against the stone wall, uncaring that they’re his son. But Luke had kept trying, near to collapsing and still trying to save his father.

Vader brushes Luke’s sweat and blood matted hair away from his forehead, “Luke, please.” He reaches for his son’s Force presence, wrapping around it as gently as he can, and desperately tries to pull him back to consciousness.

They stay there in the darkness, Luke clasped in Vader’s arms, but time has no meaning in the dark, and Vader would wait forever for this last piece of his family. 

And finally, Luke stirs, coughing and trying to push himself up. Vader holds him even closer, preventing it, and feels his throat constrict around everything he wants to say.

“Father?” Luke’s voice is hoarse but concerned, concerned about the father who’s hurt him so many times even while he lies injured. Vader wants to yell that he shouldn’t care, should have never tried to help him, that he should leave. But Vader remembers the small boy clasped in his arms who’d said the same word with the same worry in his dream an age ago. Except this is real. And he selfishly can’t bring himself to let go of his son quite yet.

He pulls Luke into him suddenly, encasing him in his arms with the force of someone who knows what it is to lose everyone he’s loved. He still can’t find the words for what he truly wants to say, so instead, he settles on, “Why are you here, my son?”

And he can’t see Luke’s face where it’s buried in his shoulder, but he can feel his pure belief in the Force as he whispers, “I came to rescue you.”

Vader’s heart cracks, the grief pouring out, but for the first time since he can remember, it’s mixed with love: love, and earth-shattering joy that Luke is here, that he is so much stronger than his father. He whispers, “You already have, Luke.”

**Author's Note:**

> this kinda has wandavision vibes and i rolled with it. someone needs to actually write the full anakin as wanda au tho. pls inform me if someone does
> 
> If you guys liked it leave a comment. They make my day! Seriously I love reading them so please leave me one cause they motivate me to write more! if you guys have ideas for other stories send me an ask on tumblr [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/imadetheline) or just yell about stuff with me. Info about me and all my other tumblrs are [here](https://infoabtmaddie.carrd.co/#)


End file.
